In honor of her memory, I want to share a quote:

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” ~Mary Anne Radmacher

This was one of Judy’s favorite quotes/sayings, though I never learned who said it until tonight when I went looking for it.

Take care of your health while you’re young.  We don’t have to be perfectly on plan all the time, but we should do what we can to get healthy and enjoy life.  Life’s too short as it is.

I’ve been thinking about my father a lot today.  One of my cousins on his side is a friend on Facebook, and more than my older half sisters, my cousin makes me think of Daddy.  Even after 7 years, I think of him and miss him.  I really wish he could meet my youngest 2 kids.  He never even really got to know my oldest son.  My nieces and nephew got to know him, but they’re not much younger than I am because my half sisters are much older.  One of my nieces is 6 months older than I am.  I watch my husband play with my youngest son, and I miss Daddy more.  My husband does some of the same things with our son that Daddy did with me.  My ex played different games with my oldest.  It probably doesn’t help that an old ex’s birthday just passed, and like myself, this person is a child of a deaf adult/parent.  Though both of his parents are/were deaf, and only Daddy was in my case.  Sad, I just started to call this person an old friend, but we haven’t talked since a dear friend of mine died in 2006.  That friend’s death left another hole in my life.  He was the one who encouraged me to keep at what I’m good at.  I haven’t been.  I know losing my friend was nothing compared to what his wife and kids lost, but I shared things with him that I tell few others, even now.  I’m not very good at letting people in to my personal life.  I’ll share some things and not others.

I’ve been looking at my list of goals for the year.  I’m making good progress on the health category.  I foresee that my blood pressure and other factors will be normalized by the end of the year, whatever normal is.

You could say I’m spending more time with family… because we’ve had 2 snow days in the lats 2 weeks.  But it’s not good enough.  I need to be making improvements in the time I spend in the evenings.  Ideally, if I can move like I want, I’d like to get a bike with a trailer for myself and the youngest, then have his big sister ride her bike so we can all get some movement in.

The new job… I’ve been spending so much time researching what I want to do.  My goal was an hour a day, and I’m getting there, but it’s not the easiest to find the time sometimes.  I guess anything worthwhile will require a lot of effort on my part, huh?  Since I’ve strongly disliked my job for more than 3 years, I need to do something about the situation.

New Year’s resolutions hardly ever work.  You have to want something bad enough to make real changes.  Generally resolutions tend to be formed with a touch of regret when you look back on the previous year.  I’ve seen it time and time again in the weight loss world.  ‘This year is my year, this year is the year I lose weight.’  Yet these same people will binge and tell you that they fell off the wagon.  Or they’ll simply underestimate how much they’re eating, and try to fool you that they’re actually eating less than 1500 calories a day and they’re gaining weight.

New Years resolutions are unnecessary if you simply make a list of what you want to do for the year, research what needs to be done, and follow through on the action plan.  Yea, it’s really not as simple as it sounds.

Resolutions tend to fall under several different categories.  Health, and Money are two big ones.  I’m going to get a better job.  I’m going to write a best-seller and make over six figures this year.  I’m going to lose 100 lbs and be happy and healthy.  After all, if you’re fat, then obviously you’re not happy, and you’re definitely not healthy.  And if you’re not making a lot of money, then you’re not happy either, you don’t have enough money to buy all the things you want.

Yea, whatever.

My goals this year are related to

1. Money: I want a different job
2. Family: I want more time with my family, (my kids, my parents/brothers/sister)
3. Health: I want to do what needs to be done to improve my health

Obviously there are a number of sub-goals under there.  Spending time with my family would mean moving to FL where they now live.  Getting a different job will mean figuring out what I want to do, and finding a plan to get a job in that field, etc.

I think February may be the best month for reflection on the changes that need to be made in my life.  By now, the chaos surrounding the holidays has ended.  I no longer have to help my husband with his paper routes and can sleep through the night.  My youngest is slowly getting out of the habit of waking in the middle of the night as well since his dad and I aren’t in the living room rolling papers.  It’s still winter, and still close enough to the beginning of the year that I’ll have plenty of time to follow through on any plans throughout the year.

All in all, it’s a good time to decide what I foresee in the next 11 months.

“As beautiful as simplicity is, it can become a tradition that stands in the way of exploration.” ~ Laura Nyro

Sometimes the simplest things can be the most meaningful.  The last couple of days, my younger kids have been sick.  Unlike their older brother, they prefer to cuddle with me when they’re sick.  He just wanted to sleep in his own bed.  Then again, the younger two wanted to cuddle with their dad, but he was out, so I was the next best thing.

So I spent more time this weekend looking at the computer or watching TV.  I was looking at the HGTV Dream Home and started thinking about skiing and other outdoor activities.  I went to church while growing up, and our youth group used to go hiking quite often.  I would go skiing with a group from school.  Yea, I’m a computer geek, but I participated in sports and other activities.  I loved hiking.  I’ve been doing some thinking about outdoor activities lately.  I miss being able to go out and hike a nature trail.  I haven’t been able to find any closer than 45 minutes to an hour away, maybe further.

When I lived in NC, my oldest and I went hiking on a nature trail.  I think he enjoyed it.  I know I did.  With the genetics in my husband’s family, I want my younger 2 kids to stay active.  Granted, it’s harder in OK, so I need to find other activities – when it’s not 100+ degrees outside.  The park across the street is hokey, but they can do that.  I need to get them over there more often when we’re not under a heat advisory.  I know my oldest went outside a lot more than my younger 2 do.

The simplest things for us to do aren’t going to be things we pay to see.  Parks and outdoor activities instead of museums and other things inside are ideal.

My subject isn’t quite what the quote is about, but in a way it is.  The simplest thing to do would be to stay home; do the same thing all the time.  Instead, we need to explore and learn.  The exploration needs to be in more areas than simply our days off work.  I’m working toward having more energy so I can do more with the kids, and more for myself.  The simplest thing is to keep the status quo.  I’m not going to be doing that.  Though we’ve been told we’ll still have jobs, I’m exploring my options on other incomes.  I will not walk out on a job without another income, but that doesn’t mean I can’t explore other ways that we can get by.  It may be time to go back to school for real.  My goal – get my degree in web development.  That’ll include both programming and design.

I had to laugh when I read this.  How long will it freaking take for people to realize that diet drugs don’t work??? I mean, okay they may work in the beginning.  They use caffeine and other stimulants to increase your metabolism.  But if you don’t start watching what you’re supposed to eat, you’ll just gain it right back once you stop taking the drugs.  Well duh!

Let me say this plainly.  THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL.  To lose weight, you need to do 2 things… eat less and move more.

If you want to lose weight, change how you eat.  It’s as simple as that.  You might decide to follow a diet like the one that Gastric Bypass patients are told to do.  You might decide to follow the USDA food pyramid guide. You might choose to follow your own plan.  It’s not going to be fun.  I’m very familiar with it.  No matter what diet you decide to follow, it’s as simple as calories in, calories out. 

Unless you’re anorexic, you’re not going to starve.  Don’t get me wrong, anorexia nervosa is a very serious disease.  A dear friend of mine suffers from it, though at the moment she’s defeated the beast.  Instead, she’s gained too much weight and is losing it healthfully with Weight Watchers.  She’s being monitored so she doesn’t lose too fast and is making sure she gets all of the points she should be getting.

Back to the subject at hand the article states that doctors are complaining that the drug companies and FDA are being too careful, that morbid obesity is more of a problem than someone dropping dead of a heart attack because of the stimulants in the drugs.   If their patient’s morbid obesity is THAT much of a problem, what’s to stop them from following the same diet that Gastric Bypass patients do without actually going through the surgery.  It’s not the surgery itself that causes these patients to lose weight, it’s the eating plan.  If you question that, you can go to http://almostgastricbypass.blogspot.com/.  This guy has been following the same diet that is used by Gastric Bypass patients without actually having the surgery done.  He started at the beginning of June and has lost 160 lbs as of today.  His writing style reminds me of a dear friend of mine… except that friend wouldn’t be caught dead writing a blog, or having a FaceBook or MySpace page or anything social other than MUDding LOL.  (I gotta tease this dear friend about this subject and he knows that LOL)

Think that’s enough ranting for now.  The post about George the Ghost is almost done and should be up tomorrow.  Hope everyone is having a good holiday week.

But I’ve also been trying to deal with the day-to-day stuff at work.  We are still hearing rumors.  You know, we have a job, we don’t have a job, they’re splitting up the department…

Today, the individual members of the AP department met with someone from the new combined company.  I’m not sure who they met with, it may be one of the auditors/evaluators that has been trying to determine the most cost efficient way for the company to proceed.  They were told that their jobs were being eliminated, that at most 1 of the group will continue to have a job in 6 months.  They’ve been told that they can apply for other jobs that come open in the company, but all most to all accounts payable processing will go through Cincinnati.

My reaction to this news was to want to eat.  I want to move near my family, but part of me dreads hearing that my job has been downsized.  Unfortunately, the stress of not knowing at work has me wanting to eat crap that isn’t good for me.

To keep my mind off everything else, I”ll post tomorrow about George.  E got a kick out of hearing that I had been talking about it on my blog.  The information is in the archives for the local newspaper, or at least a good portion of it is.  There are so many other stories out there… like one of the supervisors went to the 3rd floor to get a roll of labels.  When she came back down, everything on the 2nd floor was dark.  She’s become a believer in George instead of making fun of M about her nervousness.

Off to get some sleep for the night…

I was reminded tonight of one of her favorite quotes:

“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the small, quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” -Unknown

Hug your loved ones.  We need to be sure that they always know how we feel.

Then there’s how the last few Tuesdays have gone… the day after Labor Day, my supervisor/coach had a heart attack.  She survived, and had open heart surgery that Friday.

The following Tuesday, I found out that a very dear friend that I met on eDiets is losing her fight against cancer.  The cancer has spread and she’s been placed on pallative care, mostly to keep her comfortable… My heart breaks for her daughters who are in their mid-20′s.  My heart breaks for her… There’s so much sadness, I’m at a loss for words.  Her situation has made me start to take better care of myself.  I realize that it’s up to me to be healthy and be around for my kids unless something unforeseen happens.

The third Tuesday, a former coworker died.  She had issues with her colon in 2007, and she never fully recovered.  She could only eat through a feeding tube since May 2006, so she fought a good fight.  Her sickness hit me in 2007 because it was less than 6 months after one of my closest friends died from advanced Crohn’s disease.

There are ups in my life as well, like how cute my almost 2 year old is getting… he likes to climb into my bed after I make it.  He pulls back the blankets, then says ‘night night,’ lays on the pillow and pretends to snore.  He also likes walking around in his sister’s play high heel shoes, we’re trying to break him of that little trick.

The new paper route is a definite up, though it leaves me little time to myself some days.

The job is a definite down, but mostly because we’re getting swamped and hearing contradicting rumors.  That we won’t have a job after the first, that we will have a job after the first but we’ll have to move to one of the plants.  I’m finding that I’m developing ‘short timer syndrome’ but I’ll get through it.

My daughter is a definite up, she’s learning her letters and the sounds they make at the beginning of words.  I’m working with her when she’s wrong, but it’s always so amazing watching them learn to read.

The other definite up is how proud I am of my oldest.  I may not talk to him much, but he knows when to post to me on Facebook and make me feel like he understands me when my husband rolls his eyes.  Then again, my husband isn’t into sci-fi so much, so he rolls his eyes a lot at the things I say LOL.

I did find out today that a knitting needle can break through your skin.  I now I have a hole in my leg because I’m a klutz.  Not big enough for stitches, but deep enough that it burns to walk much I even bled through the first band aid.  Ick.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled boring lack of updates

I’ve been very tempted to delete the post below where I was being so negative, but I haven’t decided yet.  It may disappear.

Oh and one reminder note: losing inches is better than losing pounds and the negative voices need to go LOL.